Listening to: Stand By Me by Ben E King
Reading: The Fellowship of the Ring
Playing: The Wind Waker
Eating: fruit snaaaacks
Which, for the past few days, has been a rather poor excuse for interesting!
Soooo it might be a good idea to come out here, now, on DeviantArt. A week ago I discovered that I am attracted to teh ladehs as well as men. And I don't really care much if he or she or other pronoun identifies with whatever of the many genders that there are-- that puts me at pansexual. Although, if we wanna get really technical, I already identified as a greysexual, meaning that I very, very rarely experience any sort of attraction at all. Basically, here's how it works. When I am presented with the idea of sex, except in the case of very few people, my response will be "mmkay sure" and when asked about gender I'll be like "whatevs"
My sister is moving in with her fiance on Sunday. This is.... bittersweet, because I get along really well with her, and obviously she's my sister and I love her, and I won't be seeing her fiance much (who I pretty much refer to as my brother). Originally they had planned to have me over sometimes for weekends-- they're moving to an apartment within an hour's drive-- but since they are not married my mother has forbid me to visit while my sister's fiance is around. I am so fucking incensed. This basically means that I won't be seeing much of my brother almost at all because of my mother's ridiculous need to shove her 'values' down my throat. What the fuck does she think she's doing, protecting me from my sister's evil? "Oh my god how dare you move in with your fiance when it's clearly the most emotionally and financially smart decision, and also you've been dating three and a half years, but you don't have a stupid fucking certificate so fuck you, your little sister won't be corrupted by your witchcraft." Fucking. HONESTLY.
In protesting against this fucking ridiculous situation, I ended up causing my mother to lose her shit and scream at me that she feels like I'm constantly judging her for her values. FUCKING NO. YOU'RE THE ONE DOING THE FUCKING JUDGING HERE. AND THEN FORCING YOUR JUDGMENTAL BULLSHIT ON ME. SHUT THE FUCK UP. I HAVE EDUCATED MYSELF ABOUT MORALITY BETTER THAN YOU EVER HAD THE HOPE OF DOING. Oh, I might like to add that she was fucking sobbing because apparently my heathenism has upset her to the point where she thinks she's failed as a parent.
Being brought up in a 'traditional' Catholic household has done nothing to help my inherent anger issues.
God, no. I'm just so fucking sick of it. I know I sound like a stupid teenager, but you know what? This is only a little sample of the bullshit that I put up with.
I mean, I could go on for pages, but I feel like no one actually wants to read that. I sorta want to get it out, though. I feel like I need to rant, maybe that'll make me feel a bit better.
Part of me wants to get off of Tumblr, because it is doing absolutely nothing for my dirt-poor self-esteem, because nobody on Tumblr fucking likes me and I don't know how to get people to like me.
I mean, that's not the only stuff I have to rant about, but like I said, no one wants to hear my bullshit.